I Got Asked to Be The Best Man in a Wedding. Now What?

Your best friend is getting married. He comes to you with a beautiful custom gift and asks you if you will be his best man at his wedding. You obviously say yes, because he's your friend and this is a huge honor. 15 minutes later, you’re panicking and wondering what it actually means to be a best man and what you will have to do.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry. At Stagpack, we’re in the business of helping grooms and groomsmen ensure their wedding, bachelor party, and stag fundraiser all go over without a hitch. We also provide custom gift boxes for the wedding party to offer a quick, easy, and affordable solution to one of the many challenges that come before the wedding day. Today, join us as we walk you through the expectations, responsibilities, and even benefits of being the best man.

Pre-Wedding Best Man Responsibilities

Being selected as the groom's best man is a huge honor, but you should also know it's a big responsibility. You immediately become one of the 4 most important people in the wedding planning process. (The bride, the groom, the maid of honor, and you!) You should expect to be ready to pitch in ideas for catering, alcohol, party favors, music, entertainment, and more. 

Often, the wedding couple will have a lot of this stuff figured out, but you should be prepared to pitch in regardless. 

Something that you will basically be completely in charge of is the bachelor party. 

While the groom certainly will have preferences, it’s almost always up to the best man to find the venue, plan food, plan drinks, plan entertainment, and sometimes even plan the theme of the bachelor party. 

Alternatively, if your groom is doing a Stag Raiser or Stag Party, you will be in charge of getting raffle prizes, handing out invitations, and organizing the event and its finances. 

Click here to learn more about Stag Parties

The groom will already have his hands full preparing for the wedding, so whether it's at a bar, a club, on a yacht, or in a field, it will be your responsibility to plan and organize.

The Tuxedo Wrangler

Before the wedding, your groom will probably look to you for guidance on the appearance and style of his attire. You should be prepared to join him and give feedback on his looks. 

You will also likely be asked to help organize the attire of the other groomsmen, as well as other important guests. Usually, the groomsmen will want to wear similar, if not the same, outfits. Making that happen is the Best Man’s responsibility.

The Leader of the Pack

As the Best Man in a wedding, you are the co-leader of the groom's side of the wedding, and because the groom's going to be in the back room trying not to have a panic attack, you’re basically the leader of the groom's side. That means you are often organizing ideas and plans with the other groomsmen. 

If the groomsmen are all pitching in for a wedding gift for the groom, then it will be your responsibility to collect and ultimately buy the gift.

You will also be in charge of giving the other groomsmen tasks to do before and during the wedding day. As their leader, they will look to you with their own questions, and you should be ready to come up with solutions to problems and overall lead a group of people during an emotional time.

Also, you should expect most of the wedding communication to go through you; often, questions from the groom's side of the guests, about the wedding, the schedule, food, parking, and all the other challenges will go through you. The groom may assign you as the point person for all this communication, or he may not, but on the wedding day, guests will look to you and the other groomsmen for guidance.

The Responsibilities of the Best Man on the Wedding Day

Comfort and Listen to your Groom

This is quite possibly the most important moment in the groom’s life. There will be a lot of emotion running through him, and you should be ready to handle that in any way it comes out. Your groom may confess doubts, worry, stress, complain, and have questions. The best man should be there to emotionally support the groom, no matter what happens, and ensure them that everything is going to be okay.

Keep Things On Schedule

As the Best man, you have to keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule. Make sure that everyone is where they need to be during the ceremony, and if someone is running late, you should be the one to wrangle them. This can either be a major challenge or a very minor one; either way, keep an eye on the clock, and you’ll be fine.

Holding the Wedding Rings

A vital part of being the Best Man is holding the wedding rings. Often, the best man will be in charge of keeping the wedding rings safe and bringing them to the couple when it's time to present them in the ceremony.

You may also be asked to safeguard other items, such as wedding vows, flowers, gifts, cell phones, or really just about anything.

Witness the Wedding

Legally, a wedding usually has two witnesses who sign the couple's marriage license. Often, the best man and the maid of honor are the ones who end up signing as witnesses. 

You should always keep an extra pen in your pocket on the wedding day. You never know when something will go wrong.

The Best Man Speech(es)

This is the responsibility that most people know the best man for. You will be expected to write and present a speech during the wedding day that honors the couple and entertains the guests. 

See Tips on Writing a Best Man Speech

You will also be expected to lead the wedding reception in toasts and jubilation. Basically, be ready to do some public speaking.

Bring the Party

It’s the reception, and at this point in the night, you want to make sure that you are having fun, both the wedding parties are having fun, and all the other guests are having fun. After the bride and groom have their first dance, you should be ready to tear up the dance floor with your sick moves. Yes, you might make a fool of yourself, but you have to be ready to do everything you can to not make the reception party boring and awkward. 

Encourage dancing, drinking, jokes, good times, and overall just be merry. Bring good vibes, and it will be a great party. 

What it Means to be the Best Man

As you can see, the best man has a lot more responsibility than you may have initially thought. It’s a gigantic honor, but you will have to work for it. There are even more responsibilities that you may be asked to do as the best man, but as long as you do your best, things will work out great.

For the grooms that are reading this, try not to put someone in a bad position by asking them to be your best man when you know they’re too busy, or can’t handle the responsibilities. It’s a lot of stress and often a big financial commitment to be a best man. So pick someone carefully.

Also, as a way of saying thank you, you should absolutely get your best man and all of your groomsmen a groomsmen gift box for their troubles! It's customary to do so, and a personalized gift set will give your best man and all your groomsmen a present to look back on fondly and remember this special time in all of your lives.

If you are interested, check out our groomsmen gift sets

Good luck out there, grooms and groomsmen!