Tips for the Best Man- Dos & Don’ts on Writing the Best Man's Speech

We’re in the business of helping grooms and groomsmen ensure their wedding, bachelor party, and stag fundraiser all go over without a hitch. We provide custom gifts for the wedding party to offer a quick, easy, affordable solution for guys (and gals) who need gifts now.

We use this blog as a tool to help out in all other aspects of the wedding extravaganza. Today on the blog, we’re talking directly to the best man. How do you write a best man speech? Where do you start? Are you allowed to talk about the bride? What about mothers? What about the bachelor party? We’ll cover as much as we can to help prepare anyone out there who needs a few pointers. 

First, let’s start with what NOT to do for your best man speech… 

Best Man Speech Don’ts 

DON'T: Try to be Shane Gillis, Jerry Seinfeld, Matt Rife, or any pro stand-up comic

Look, you’re not a professional comedian. Having some jokes is standard for a good best man speech, but don’t try too hard. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have the best jokes anyone’s ever heard for your speech. Use the internet if you need to for a few quick quips here and there, but this day isn’t about you. It’s all about the happy couple.

Don’t be a stiff, but also don’t expect to bring down the house like Chris Rock or George Carlin. 

DON’T - Get Wasted (before the speech)

Nobody is saying not to get after it, but if you’re the best man on this special day, treat your role with respect. That means saving your buzz for once you’re done with your final part. You have an important role in the day that everyone is expecting, and you want to be respectful of your buddy, his partner, and their families.

This means not slurring your words and getting sloppy. At least, until after you’ve crushed your speech!

DON’T- JOKE ABOUT THE BRIDE, Mothers, or any woman negatively

You might be able to get away with the first two DON’Ts, but you won’t get away with this one! This is where chivalry counts, and if you make the (terrible) choice of poking fun at the bride, her mother, the grooms mother, or any women in general, you’re going to certainly look foolish. You should certainly be extra mindful of what you say about the bride.

If you have an old inside joke with the groom's family, that’s one thing, but be careful, and be respectful!

DON’T- Disrespect anyone 

Honestly, this goes for just about anyone. You certainly shouldn’t disrespect the woman of the day in any way, but you also really should be respectful of everyone you mention. Any potential jokes or poking fun, should always be summed up with a purpose, a point, a good fact that represents the person in being a great part of the day. Part of being respectful is watching your language, so don’t use too many cuss words while you’re up there.  

You should also, obviously, not mention, under any circumstances, ANY EX’s. 

DON’T- Go Too Long

Once again, you aren’t the main attraction, and that means you don’t want to milk it and go on and on, and on, and on. There might even be someone turning the stopwatch on on your phone. Once you write your speech, whittle it down a bit if you’re over say 1,000 words or so. You want to stay somewhere around 7 minutes or so; anything over 10 is iffy.

If you’re over 15, someone's rolling their eyes and getting up to grab a drink. 

Ok, we got that out of the way. Here are a few things YOU SHOULD DO for your best man speech. 

DO- Write It, and Practice It

Take your time in crafting your best man speech. The more prep you do, the easier it will be. Nobody likes seeing someone stumble over a crumpled-up bar napkin. It shows you didn’t take it seriously, and you won’t have a very impactful speech. Nobody expects anything too great, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself, but the best way to relieve pressure is preparation. So write it, edit it, get it where you want it, and then practice it a few times before the big day.

Don’t expect much time to prepare on the day of either, because once the bullets are flying, you’re already dead if you didn’t prepare before the big day. 

DO- Be Yourself

You were chosen to be the best man for a reason! Trust yourself, trust your relationship with the groom, and trust that you are the man for this job! The groom picked you for a reason! Be confident in yourself and be the best version of yourself you can be. The more authentic and real you are, the better you will be received If you screw up, don’t sweat it, people might still cry if you are authentic and real. If you are funny, be funny. If you aren’t sentimental, that’s ok.

You are the BEST MAN! Be all you can be! And all you can be is yourself. 

DO- Talk (positively) about the couple and their love

One thing to remember is not to forget about the love that is the reason you’re all there that day. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your history with the groom, and why you were chosen to be the best man. Try to ensure you say a few nice things about the bride, and about the love that they share.

Bring in a story or a reminder, or when you knew they would be together forever. 

DO- Breathe

Take your time up there, be confident, and remember if you’re nervous, just take slow, easy breaths. You are the star for only about 7 minutes, and you have all the power to knock this out of the park. Don’t be afraid to fail, nobody is perfect. Be a star and be the best best man that you can be! Nobody will be a bigger critic than yourself, so just have some fun up there and make it something that you are proud of yourself for.

In doing that, you’ll surely be impressive in the eyes of your audience. 

DO- Show you care. 

The number one thing you can do, no matter who you are, how you know the groom, or how the hell you ended up being a best man is simply, SHOW YOU CARE. If there’s one main goal you can accomplish, beyond being the funny guy, the cool guy, the most interesting man in the world, it’s just showing that you care. If you can accomplish that, you’ll be just fine.

Hopefully, this helps a best man out there tackle his task of representing himself, the groom, and the day with class, humor, and love. Don’t be afraid to fail and just show everyone that you respect the couple, their love, and everyone there. Everything else will fall into place, unless you’re falling into the sweetheart table covered in whiskey. Good luck!