The Exsquite Guide For Choosing The Groomsmen for Your Big Day

Congratulations, you’re getting married! Now it’s time to pick your groomsmen, get them gifts, plan the wedding, get a guest list, and plan the bachelor's party. You’ve got a lot on your plate. Picking your groomsmen sounds like an easy thing to cross off the list, but how can you get everyone to be happy with the results? There are lots of factors to consider before picking your groomsmen. We are here to help.

How Many Groomsman Can I Have?

There is no “rule” on how many groomsman you can have. You can bring however many groomsman feels right to you, but there are considerations you should make.

The Size of the Wedding

The main aspect contributing to how many groomsmen you should have is what kind of wedding you are having. If you are having a relatively small wedding, around 50 people, you might only want a best man, and one groomsman. As your wedding increases in size, so should your wedding party. Having one groomsman for every 50 wedding guests is a good rule.

How Many Bridesmaids Will There Be

Many people will tell you that you must have a symmetrical number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. This is not true. You should consider the number of bridesmaids your partner will have, and there are advantages to having a symmetrical wedding party, but it’s perfectly acceptable to have an uneven party. 

That being said, if your partner is bringing 4 bridesmaids, having 7 groomsmen is likely too much. Try to have only one or maybe two more people in your wedding party. Have a conversation with your partner and decide together how many groomsmen and bridesmaids you will have at your wedding. 

More People More Problems

When considering how many groomsmen you should have, you have to keep in mind that more groomsmen will mean more scheduling, more conflicts, and more communication. 

Also, keep in mind that groomsmen will often play essential parts on the wedding day; they will be ushering people to their seats, greeting guests, and serving as points of information for any questions your guests will have. 

If you have a larger wedding, you might want to have more groomsmen just to help organize everything. Though don’t feel pressured to have more people in your wedding party just for logistics, as family members and close friends are also happy to help organize your big day. 

Start With Your Siblings

Once you have decided on how many groomsmen, it’s time for the hard part. Selecting who will be there to support you on your big day. It's best to start by picking close family members, such as brothers, cousins, or sisters. You’re groomsmen don’t have to be all male, so don’t be afraid to include someone important to you just because of their gender.

If you have multiple siblings who want to be your groomsmen, how can you choose one without excluding the others? What works well for most is agreeing on who will serve as groomsmen for each other's wedding. That way, no one feels left out and everyone feels appreciated. 

Pick your Best Friends

After considering your close family, you should also think about including some of your best friends as groomsmen. You could be looking at a list of 10 people you want to narrow down to only 5 or 6. Here are some strategies to help you choose the right people

Think About Absolute Musts

There will always be some people that you can’t imagine not being a groomsman for your wedding. Ensure that they make the list. You don’t want to regret not including that person down the line

Consider Who’s Been at Your Side

Choose people you know well and have known you well for a long time. Think about who has supported you through the hard times. A trustworthy groomsmen is a great groomsmen.

Pick People Who Are Participants In Your Life as a Couple

A quality that makes a great groomsmen is someone who knows both you and your partner well. So try to choose people who are well-connected with you and your partner. Someone who wants both of you to succeed. After all, you don’t want a groomsmen who doesn’t like your partner.

Think About Group Dynamics

Friendship among men is not always the most dramatic; most guys move past the issues they have with each other. Still, sometimes grudges remain, and you don’t want your groomsmen to dislike each other. We’ve all seen crazy things happen at weddings; let's try to avoid them during yours. So make sure you don’t have people who won't get along well among your groomsmen. 

Unsure how to bring up the idea to your would-be groomsmen? Check out our blog on how to ask someone to be your groomsman.

Choose Reliable People

If you are still struggling between a few choices, there are more considerations to be made, reliability being one of them. While it is a lot of fun and a big honor to be a groomsman at someone's wedding, it's also a lot of work. Oftentimes, the groomsmen will be directly involved in the planning and organization of the wedding. Also, there are usually rehearsals, Stag Parties, and other pre-wedding events that your groomsmen should attend.

Most groomsmen will be happy to take on this responsibility, but it can be too much. So if you have to choose between Dan, who is always punctual and very detail-oriented oriented or Jeff, who frequently cancels on you last minute, probably choose Dan.

Keep Budget in Mind

Another thing to consider is the budget. Weddings are expensive, and being a groomsman is part of that. Consider the financial situation of the person before asking them to be a groomsmen. Will you need to chip in on them getting a suit, or maybe a plane ticket, or a hotel room? The expenses can add up fast, and if you ask someone who just can’t afford it, be prepared for problems.

Do You Have to Ask Someone Because They Asked You?

Short answer: No, you don’t have to ask someone because they asked you. They may be a little insulted, but unfortunately, that's just how it is sometimes. Maybe you have a larger social circle than they did, or maybe they just don’t fit the dynamic of your other groomsmen. You should still invite them to your wedding and thank them for coming; hopefully, they’ll understand.

This is your big day; you get to decide who your groomsmen are, not them.

Have a Conversation With Your Partner

No doubt your future wife has some thoughts on who should be your groomsmen, while it's good to have your own opinions, it's her big day as well. You should make sure you have a conversation about every member of your wedding party, so you are both on the same page and both happy with your groomsmen and bridesmaids. 

Don’t Forget the Groomsmen Gifts

When asking someone to be a groomsman in your wedding, it's customary to get them a gift. Being a groomsman does take a lot of work, and a gift shows them that you appreciate them and their time. It’s great to have something that reminds them of this special time in both your and their lives. 

We’ve got you covered. At Stag Pack, we have plenty of customizable gifts for your groomsmen to fill every need. We have gift packs perfect for every kind of groomsmen. We have gifts for the Outdoor Groomsman, the Bartender Groomsman, the Gamblin’ Groomsman, the Golfing Groomsman, and much, much more. Check out our Store to see more.